do herpes really smell.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
