Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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