Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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