Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize