I'm drive I can fine osifer
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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