Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
