Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
