ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
