yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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