Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
