R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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