We're facebook friends in real life
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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