two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
