just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
