Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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