I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
