Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(765): View more from Indiana

Why are you ignoring all of my texts?

(1-765): View more from Indiana

The power was out.

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(469): View more from Texas

There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice

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(519): View more from Ontario

Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me

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(660): View more from Missouri

How did you make it to work sans hangover?

(816): View more from Missouri

4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols

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(478): View more from Georgia

You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable

(318): View more from Louisiana

You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.

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(586): View more from Michigan

In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.

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(309): View more from Illinois

My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?

(380): View more from Ohio

I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now

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