P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
