Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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