Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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