I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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