Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
