he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
