i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
