I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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