I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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