Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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