My sheets look like a crime scene.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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