Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
