Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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