my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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