It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
