It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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