so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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