But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
