You can't motorboat a personality
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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