if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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