im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
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He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
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