I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
