dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
