Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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