Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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