You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
