I'm jealous of your bromance
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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