All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
