I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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