Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
