He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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