we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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