wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I faked an abortion last night.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
