You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
