He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
