Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
