okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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