covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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