singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
