How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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