Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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