My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
