so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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