omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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