if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
