Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
