I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize