Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
