this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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